Let Us Pray

I was surprised today to hear there is someone who thinks more of Donald Trump than Donald Trump himself. It is Mike Pompeii who apparently thinks Donald Trump is the second coming,come to save Israel.

Not even death will hold down Donald Trump. To heaven he will certainly go, carried by goodwill and his own hood deeds. But heaven might prove too small a place to hold God and Donald Trump. One of them will have to go, and it will no doubt be God, who will be cast out of heaven with the words ‘you’re fired!’ ringing in his ears.

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We Are All At It

Anyone looking at American students cheating and bribing their way into a good university,, thinking it couldn’t happen here is wrong.

Just to take two examples – Prince Charles attending Cambridge with an awful set of a levels, and Gaddafi’s son buying a PHD – later withdrawn – from Imperial.

If a foreign dictator can buy a doctorate for his son from a British university you can buy anything here no matter how sacred.

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What is the Point of a GCSE in English

Schools in England are starting to wonder what the point of a GCSE in English is.

There is a point if you Donna speaka da English.

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Buy Yourself a Star

Apparently you can buy yourself a star that YOU CAN SEE from £15.

On the other hand you can stand on one square metre of your own land in central London for £17000.

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IGCSEs Give You an Edge

Wrong!

International students take the IGCSE. They are better than the average student in their own country.

The new 9-1 GCSE exams are harder than the old GCSE exams which were frankly easy. They are easily a match for the IGCSE.

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How Many human Lives is a Tiger Worth?

Just suppose there are a hundred thousand tigers and eight billion humans on the same planet.

Eighty thousand humans for every tiger.

So. What is a fair number of human lives to change for one tiger?

EIGHTY THOUSAND!

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AS Levels Raise Your Grades

Students who sit AS exams in the lower sixth get better a level grades than those who don’t.

NO SHIT!

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How The Railways Could Save Billions

Why does every train that runs off peak pull a full rush hour load of empty carriages?

Unlock a few carriages save lots of money on fuel and maintenance.

Any 5 year old could work that one out.

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If You Are No Good With Money…

You are no good at all.

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Fake University in USA

Always first to innovate the Americans have followed the invention of fake news and the election of a fake President with the establishment of a fake University.

Fake students can get a proper fake Degree, presumably costing only fake money which you can write out on little bits of paper and paying into some fake bank account.

The whole scam would not be complete without some fake Professors.

As a fake Doctor of Philosophy I would like to apply.

My personal fakeness only goes so far. I must be paid in REAL POUND NOTES!

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