Trump in heaven

After a lifetime spent defending the divine rights of billionaires, sex pests and property developers, and promoting the teachings of the one true prophet – Donald Trump – Donald Trump dies and goes to heaven.

Unfortunately there isn’t enough room in heaven for him and God both, so God has to go. And as God is picked up by his arms and legs and thrown out, the words of Donald Trump ring in his ears – “YOU’RE FIRED!”.

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What a waste!

Everyone doing all they can to be gree and avoid waste and litter must be made really angry by the sight of the royal British legion dropping £4000 worth of poppies from a plane.

Must be a greener way to waste £4000.

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Second Jobs for Teachers

One in six teachers in the USA has a second job.

Why don’t they all just quit teaching?

Only losers become teachers in the USA.

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A maths degree in the good old days

Ever wondered how a medieval maths degree compared with yhe modern equivalent?

No contest.

In fact a medieval maths degree is not even equivalent to agcse or equivalent taken by 16 year old today.

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Why do rich people write big and poor people write small?

Rich people write big because of the psychological need to take up more space. Poor people feel the need to reduce the offence they cause so occupy less space and write small.

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Found myself saying this

While explain a method I said:

Work out the one one and the n plus one one then subtract the n one from the n plus one one.

Simple.

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Origins of the wood poor

Normal people don’t live in any poo at all.

Poor people live in some poo.

Poorer people live in more poo.

The poorest people live in the most poo.

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If you are scared of immibrants

You will be terrified of aliens.

For probably no reason at all.

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Missold a Scholarship?

You are not necessarily a good student these days if a university offers you a scholarship. You could in fact be an awful student who has failed every exam you have ever taken.

Some universities are so crooked they will seek out these failed students and offer them such scholarships using money from their tuition fees.

Uniersties are supposed to tailor their fees to the quality of their degree so using fees in this way is a form of misselling.

Universities doing this may one day face legal action from students who feel they have bee missold a degree.

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I’m in the bidding!

To buy greenland.

I know president trump and the usa are deep in debt and i have ready cash.

I start the bidding at £1

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