Go Home Early!

We should all be paid more.
Think how much you are worth per hour, and how much you are actually paid.
If you are only paid two thirds of you worth, only spend two thirds of your working day at work.
HURRAH! BEER ALL ROUND!

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When Stupid Rules Are Enforced By Stupid People Stupid Things Happen

Ever heard about the 9 year old girl arrested under the Terrorism Act for posting pictures of school dinners?
What about the boy who prompted a police raid for describing his house as a terrorist – not terraced 0 house?
The Terrorism Act in the UK is one of the stuppidest pieces of Law ever to pass through our stupid parliament, but is made even more stupid bny stupid schools and stupid policemen.

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Let’s Teach Revolution!

With a good 30% of people in this country who will never own more than the clothes they stand up in and a car, the country is heading for an uprising.
Many people, not knowing how to have a revolution, will riot and loot. I We should teach the history of revolution in our schools – English, French, Russian and American revolutions.
How to have a good revolution.

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Two Thirds of Nigerian Primary School Teachers Fail!

Two thirds of Nigerian primary school teachers fail the tests taken by six year olds in Nigerians.
How did they get the job in the first place?
THEY PAID A BRIBE!
23,000 teachers were sacked today.
If you think the teachers are bad, try reasoning with a Nigerian policeman.

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TRAIN YOURSELF TO KILL AND DESTROY!

My sexed up way of saying revise for your exams.

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Predict the Next Number

Someone texted me this puzzle at the crack of dawn this morning.
1 11 21 1211 111221 312211 13112221 1113213211
The next number is?
Hinr: It’s the way you say it…

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I Could Have Been a Trillionaire

Whatever that is.
Someone fell off their balcony and sued the council for the job they would have liked to have done – but had never done – but now could not because of the injuries they said they sustained.
WOW! I have never been a trillionaire, or even a lowly billionaire. It is so relaxing to know that if I am ever injured I will be able to sue someone for javing the chance of becoming a trillionaire denied to me. Presumably I will be able to sue them for a trillion pounds. Plus interest.;

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What Will You Do With Your Student Loan?

Student in the UK get up to £3500 or so per term paid into their bank account each term. For many students this is the first time they have ever had so much money to call their own. There are big temptations.
I once rented a room to a first year student. Evey time he got his hands on that term’s student loan, he disappeared for a couple of weeks to go on a drugs, drink and sex binge, after which he had trouble paying his rent. He dropped out of University after a year and went home a failure, in debt.
I could have saved hum from failure. I could charged him rent upfront and have taken upon myself the burden of those drink and sex binges. I feel guilty now that I did not.

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Try The Hardest Damn GCSE Test Ever!

I write this 10 question test yesterday made up of hard GCSE Maths questions.
GCSE Maths Test.

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Too Good a Time at University

A lot of students get good A Levels/IB, go to a good University, then having been a top student up until then, imagine that the first few months will be spent bringing everyone to the same level of knowledge, or find themselves seduced by beer and sex and just HAVING A BLOODY GOOD TIME!
These people will fail their exams. If you fail your exams and fail your results you are OUT of University.
Typical is the student from Imperial who failed his first year, then rang me from some impossible to get to island in the Caribbean, offering to fly me out their and prepare him for resits.
I would have gone, charging £10000000000000000000000000 per day, but frankly I think I would have ended up teaching him maths on the beach, surrounded by empty beer bottles and he would have failed again.

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