Change your name to Trump.
He’s a moron and went to a top University.
When you take the entrance test, and when the university are convinced you are a moron, they will let you in.
If they don’t tell them, “The President won’t like this!”/ That will really scare them.
If you are an idiot, change you surname to Windsor and learn to speak like a horse.
Hal;f the idiots in the UK are members of the Royal Family, so any University will let you walk in on the red carpet they have prepared for such an honour.
If they don’t say “The Queen won;t like this!” and start ranting about how the stupid Prince Charles entered Cambridge with the worst grades ever.