Fake University in USA

Always first to innovate the Americans have followed the invention of fake news and the election of a fake President with the establishment of a fake University.

Fake students can get a proper fake Degree, presumably costing only fake money which you can write out on little bits of paper and paying into some fake bank account.

The whole scam would not be complete without some fake Professors.

As a fake Doctor of Philosophy I would like to apply.

My personal fakeness only goes so far. I must be paid in REAL POUND NOTES!

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Parents Pay £100 An Hour to Tutor Their Children Possessed By the Devil


Of course I will have to prepare myself to meet vampires, zombies, devil worshippers and all such dangers.

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How You Pay All The Bills, Agter Your Parents Spent All The Money

Your parents probably got a free university education.

The bills were paid with government dent, which has to be paid for or serviced.

Any student at university now has to take out loans for tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of pounds, which they ill have to pay back.

You will have to pay for your parents education as well as your own.

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Dictionary of Alternative Definitions – Latest Additions

What do you call a short woman with kids?

A minimum – (mini mum)

What do you call a tall woman with kids?

A maximum – (maxi mum)

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One Way to Stop Teachers Cheating

Cheating in the UK is very rare. In China and India it is very common.

If teachers had to undergo annual financial health checks, any source of mysterious income – from bribes – or vulnerability to bribes because of financial distress could be unearthed and those teachers helped or removed from temptation.

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Sometimes I Think…

And then I don’t stop to think.

Crazy things can happen.

Like when I saw a girl smiling at me. I don’t know what she was thinking.

I was thinking, “Pretty girl. Well, and what are the odds?”.

That girl was my own sister.

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How Any Moron Can Get Into a Top University

Change your name to Trump.

He’s a moron and went to a top University.

When you take the entrance test, and when the university are convinced you are a moron, they will let you in.

If they don’t tell them, “The President won’t like this!”/ That will really scare them.

If you are an idiot, change you surname to Windsor and learn to speak like a horse.

Hal;f the idiots in the UK are members of the Royal Family, so any University will let you walk in on the red carpet they have prepared for such an honour.

If they don’t say “The Queen won;t like this!” and start ranting about how the stupid Prince Charles entered Cambridge with the worst grades ever.

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How to Keep the Schools Clean

Let the children do the cleaning.

In Japan, children clean the school at the end of each day.

And Japan is so clean and tidy. Recycling is high. An example to use all.

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Run Girl Run!

Any young muslim woman living in Saudi Arabia or some such place, with a life of submission and obedience all laid out in front of her should throw off those shackles and do exatly what she wants.

An 18 year old woman running away from repression is at this moment caged up in a Thai hotel awaiting return by force to Saudi Arabia. The whole bloody world should rebel at this spectacle.

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It’s Not All About IQ

It’s all about perseverance.

If you have a mind that crawls into every crack and crevice, you will succeed.

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