{"id":1197,"date":"2013-02-04T13:29:00","date_gmt":"2013-02-04T13:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.astarmathsandphysics.com\/tutor_profiles\/paul_smith\/paul_smiths_blog\/?p=1197"},"modified":"2013-02-04T13:29:00","modified_gmt":"2013-02-04T13:29:00","slug":"i-cant-tell-that-policeman-from-a-dead-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/02\/i-cant-tell-that-policeman-from-a-dead-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"I Can&#8217;t Tell That Policeman From a Dead Baby!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The British police have, it seems, as part of their undercover disguises, been impersonating dead babies, nappies and all.<br \/>\nI can imagine what a pathetic figure they must have cut, tottering through a doorway guarded by heavies and shotguns, into a drinking and gambling den, a dead baby holding a dead cuddly toy.<br \/>\nMaybe they were thinking they could crawl up to the object of their investigations, cooing &#8216;daddy&#8217; to a man so sozzled they wouldn&#8217;t be able to tell the difference between a dead baby, a policeman, or the offspring they never knew they had.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The British police have, it seems, as part of their undercover disguises, been impersonating dead babies, nappies and all. I can imagine what a pathetic figure they must have cut, tottering through a doorway guarded by heavies and shotguns, into &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/02\/i-cant-tell-that-policeman-from-a-dead-baby\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Wm4j-jj","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":337,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2011\/09\/i-thought-he-wad-dead\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":0},"title":"I thought he was dead&#8230;","author":"taxicle","date":"September 30, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Ali Dezai, top policeman and victim of a persecution campaign of the metropolitan police in London, sacked, libelled, jailed and crucified, has survived the attentions of his colleagues and is to be reinstated As a policeman. What shouts of joy there will from his colleagues now that the man they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1672,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/11\/who-will-keep-dead-people-alive\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":1},"title":"Who will keep dead people alive?","author":"taxicle","date":"November 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Or even resurrect the dead? Open a Twitter account for a dead person and tweet what they would have tweeted if they were not dead.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1218,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/02\/dead-people-recycled-into-babyfood\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":2},"title":"Dead people recycled into babyfood&#8230;","author":"taxicle","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Could be tomorrow's headline.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1945,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2014\/09\/ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":3},"title":"Ding Dong The Bitch is Dead","author":"taxicle","date":"September 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Joan Rivers, who died today, would have liked that line.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2332,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2016\/01\/bowie-gets-all-the-sympathy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":4},"title":"Bowie Gets All The Sympathy","author":"taxicle","date":"January 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"David Bowue died this morning, and the day has been full of the suck-suck-sucking sound as all the sympathy for all the dead people in the world has been hoovered up by the dead David Bowie. Logic tells me that a single dead person does not deserve the sympathy that\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":828,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/11\/where-do-i-sign-up-to-be-recycled-into-petfood\/","url_meta":{"origin":1197,"position":5},"title":"Where Do I Sign Up To Be Recycled Into Petfood?","author":"taxicle","date":"November 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't like pets (except cats). It doesn't matter. The pets must be fed. Why do we kill animals to feed other animals with so many dead people lying around? Feed dead people to the animals. Life should be simple like that. If you would like to be fed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1197\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}