{"id":1453,"date":"2013-08-03T08:07:47","date_gmt":"2013-08-03T08:07:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.astarmathsandphysics.com\/tutor_profiles\/paul_smith\/paul_smiths_blog\/?p=1453"},"modified":"2013-08-03T08:07:47","modified_gmt":"2013-08-03T08:07:47","slug":"free-holiday-courtesy-uk-home-office","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/08\/free-holiday-courtesy-uk-home-office\/","title":{"rendered":"FREE HOLIDAY COURTESY UK HOME OFFICE?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t afford a holiday this year. But look, the British home office is offering free flights to illegal immigrants.
\nI just texted ‘home’ to the home office immigration hotline. Apparently if I can convince them I am Pakistani they will fly me to Pakistan.
\nAfter a couple of weeks of sin, drinking and debauchery, I might get myself deported back to UK.<\/p>\n

Here is the exchange of texts so far. This policy has the potential for a riot.<\/p>\n

HOME<\/p>\n

FREE HELP: For a free call back in Urdu, text URDU to 78070 For a free call back in Punjabi, text PUNJABI to 78070 For a free call back in Hindi, text HINDI to 78070<\/p>\n

FREE HELP: For a free call back in English, text ENGLISH to 78070 For a free call back in other languages text OTHER to 78070<\/p>\n

HINDI<\/p>\n

FREE HELP: Thank you for your message. We will give you a free call back, in your language shortly, to offer you advice and help to return home.<\/p>\n

FREE HELP: <\/strong>Our office hours are from 9-5 Monday to Friday, so if you have sent us a message outside of these hours we will get back to you as soon as we can.<\/p>\n

My phone was off when they called me yesterday on an anonymous number so I texted them:
\nYo bwana when you gonna fly me away?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t afford a holiday this year. But look, the British home office is offering free flights to illegal immigrants. I just texted ‘home’ to the home office immigration hotline. Apparently if I can convince them I am Pakistani they … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Wm4j-nr","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":818,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/10\/save-me-from-text-and-phone-spam\/","url_meta":{"origin":1453,"position":0},"title":"Save me From Text and Phone Spam","author":"taxicle","date":"October 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Pretty obvious really. Why don't the phone companies build in spam text filters to your mobile phone, and spam phone call filters to your mobile phone and house phone? Don't tell me it can't be done.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2167,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2015\/06\/would-you-buy-a-car-from-beadles\/","url_meta":{"origin":1453,"position":1},"title":"Would you buy a car from beadles?","author":"taxicle","date":"June 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Just got this unsolicited text. Beadles: Beadles Vauxhall & Skoda Cost Price Spectacular! 5 Days only NOW ON! EVERY brand new car at COST PRICE, plus you could drive away with NO DEPOSIT & 0% FINANCE. Must end 1pm Tuesday! Call Beadles Vauxhall Maidstone - 08433 933 228 or Beadles\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2498,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2017\/05\/death-threats-by-text\/","url_meta":{"origin":1453,"position":2},"title":"Death Threats By Text","author":"taxicle","date":"May 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"There is a warped sense of unreality in the UK at the moment, with an election imminent and surveillance about to happen in real time on every UK citizen. 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