{"id":238,"date":"2011-07-28T16:31:32","date_gmt":"2011-07-28T16:31:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.astarmathsandphysics.com\/tutor_profiles\/paul_smith\/paul_smiths_blog\/?p=238"},"modified":"2011-07-28T16:31:32","modified_gmt":"2011-07-28T16:31:32","slug":"yo-pippa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2011\/07\/yo-pippa\/","title":{"rendered":"Yo Pippa!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I hear Pippa Miidleton’s \u00a340,000 nearly new BMW is now not good enough to be tarting around in – she is getting instead a \u00a395,000 Audi – and I, being a green consumer, am SOOOOOOOOOO eager to see it not be turned into a cube of scrap metal. <\/p>\n

Therefore my little bbbbbbuuuuuuuummmmmmmmkin I am offering to take it off your hands.
\nI can’t find your email address or telephone number on a card in a telephone box anywhere. I think you should advertise more – in Knightsbridge, where I understand you regularly are, you can jump on any number of randy bankers who can’t find their way home from the pub and will only be too happy to kip at your place while engaging in a bit of rumpy pumpy for a few \u00a3100000’s.
\nMeanwhile please text me on 07766496223 some lunchtime when you are between clients and I will relieve you of your old banger before you can say ‘in and out’..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hear Pippa Miidleton’s \u00a340,000 nearly new BMW is now not good enough to be tarting around in – she is getting instead a \u00a395,000 Audi – and I, being a green consumer, am SOOOOOOOOOO eager to see it not … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-238","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Wm4j-3Q","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1338,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/05\/pippa-clean-my-loo\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":0},"title":"Pippa clean my loo","author":"taxicle","date":"May 31, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I hear Pippa Middleton has set up some sort of domestic services company to take care of every household need, redesign and redecorate your house etc etc. I have nothing so grand in mind. If she can come around to clean my loo I will be very grateful.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1323,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2013\/05\/glad-to-be-rid-of-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":1},"title":"Glad to Be Rid of Me!","author":"taxicle","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The staff at Barclays bank are not quite in a state of wild anticipation to know that I am leaving them but only perhaps because they have not yet heard the good news. The final straw came when my charges on my business account for the last month turned out\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1804,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2014\/03\/i-win\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":2},"title":"I win!","author":"taxicle","date":"March 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I always win. When I transferred my phone service to virgin in February I was surprised to receive a letter from talktalk to tell me I had agreed a 24 month contract for their tv service, especially surprised since I don't watch tv. 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To\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":190,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2011\/02\/big-sally-berkos-sad-wail\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":4},"title":"Big Sally Bercow’s Sad Wail…","author":"taxicle","date":"February 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Nobody wants me, everybody ignores me, why can't I be beautiful and slim and intelligent like a footballer's wife, why am I stuck here in this mouldy old coffin like a speaker's wife. Noone even knows my name, I am not stopped in the street like the supermodel I should\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1806,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2014\/03\/how-to-beat-talktalk\/","url_meta":{"origin":238,"position":5},"title":"How to Beat Talktalk","author":"taxicle","date":"March 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Ring the sales number 08000491374 - they are English and expensive - and refuse to be put through to customer services - they are Indian and cheap. Tell them if they need to speak to any other department they can speak to that department themselves while you wait. 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