{"id":480,"date":"2012-01-12T09:48:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-12T09:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.astarmathsandphysics.com\/tutor_profiles\/paul_smith\/paul_smiths_blog\/?p=480"},"modified":"2012-01-12T09:48:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-12T09:48:00","slug":"police-made-me-tie-up-my-car-with-string-before-they-would-let-me-drive-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/01\/police-made-me-tie-up-my-car-with-string-before-they-would-let-me-drive-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Police Made Me Tie Up My Car With String Before They Would Let Me Drive It"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"wpid-IMAG0104-150x150\"<\/a><\/br>My car is pretty basic I know. It has five wheels, one of which you use for steering, an engine, some seats and other bits. Unfortunately some bits are falling off or don’t fit together, or frankly, work.
\nThe bumper fell off a week ago (being a safety conscious motorist, I put it back on), the radiator or water pump is busted and needs to be refilled every few hours, the bonnet doesn’t close and the boot doesn’t open, a couple of light covers are shattered and the exhaust drags along the floor.
\nWhen I was stopped by the police yesterday most of this went unnoticed. They were only interested in tyres, bonnet and light cover. They made me tie the bonnet down with shoelaces (looks really impressive), gave me a list of things to do and let me go.<\/p>\n

This car is not as bad as many of my previous cars. My fondest memory is of an old Ford Fiesta. Every time I did a left turn the battery would fall into the engine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My car is pretty basic I know. It has five wheels, one of which you use for steering, an engine, some seats and other bits. Unfortunately some bits are falling off or don’t fit together, or frankly, work. The bumper … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Wm4j-7K","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":533,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/02\/suddenly-i-cant-work-out-why-there-is-so-much-pollution\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":0},"title":"Suddenly I Can’t Work Out Why There is So Much Pollution","author":"taxicle","date":"February 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"All we are doing on the Earth is moving bits of the Earth around and doing things to those bits. There are no more bits being added or taken away, and really no more poisonous bits than there were when the Earth formed. When the Norwegians pump toxic sludge to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2310,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2015\/12\/an-end-to-fashion\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":1},"title":"An End to Fashion","author":"taxicle","date":"December 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Fashion is useless and pretentious. One day we will all dress in patchwork clothes made of any old rags and bits of plastic, with shoes made of cut up tyres. Even the richest among us must dress in bin bags and glued together bits of waste paper.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":537,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/02\/will-the-british-police-give-me-a-car\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":2},"title":"Will the British police give me a car?","author":"taxicle","date":"February 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"If Rebecca Brooks, corrupt ex newspaper editor can have a police horse, can I have a police car? If you haven't any cars, can I have a helicopter or a police launch? If you don't have any of these can you saddle up one of your dumb plods to carry\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":737,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2012\/09\/smiths-first-pollution-paradox\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":3},"title":"Smith’s First Pollution Paradox","author":"taxicle","date":"September 26, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Everything on the Earth is made from other bits of the Earth. Basically nothing enters or leaves the Earth, so all we are doing by making so much STUFF is moving little bits of the Earth around. My problem is this: How is it that some harmless little bit of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2590,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2017\/12\/useful-source-of-scrap-paper\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":4},"title":"Useful Source of Scrap Paper","author":"taxicle","date":"December 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The bills I get and do not wish to pay. I fill them with bits of useless maths and write my reply on them before I send them back.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2017\/12\/reply.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2017\/12\/reply.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2017\/12\/reply.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2230,"url":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/2015\/09\/shoplifting-to-save-a-few-pennies\/","url_meta":{"origin":480,"position":5},"title":"Shoplifting to save a few pennies","author":"taxicle","date":"September 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In my local pound store one person has gone in to empty a puncture outfit of all its bits, then left the box to be sold. I know this because I bought the box.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=480"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/480\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/astarmathsandphysics.com\/blog\/paulsmith\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}