Big Sally Bercow’s Sad Wail…

Nobody wants me, everybody ignores me, why can’t I be beautiful and slim and intelligent like a footballer’s wife, why am I stuck here in this mouldy old coffin like a speaker’s wife. Noone even knows my name, I am not stopped in the street like the supermodel I should be, I am beautiful, yes, yes, yes….yes…………

I know. I will pose nude in playboy, then the whole world will know what a sexy little number I am…Unlike my husband, who is very short…

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