I hear Pippa Miidleton’s £40,000 nearly new BMW is now not good enough to be tarting around in – she is getting instead a £95,000 Audi – and I, being a green consumer, am SOOOOOOOOOO eager to see it not be turned into a cube of scrap metal.
Therefore my little bbbbbbuuuuuuuummmmmmmmkin I am offering to take it off your hands.
I can’t find your email address or telephone number on a card in a telephone box anywhere. I think you should advertise more – in Knightsbridge, where I understand you regularly are, you can jump on any number of randy bankers who can’t find their way home from the pub and will only be too happy to kip at your place while engaging in a bit of rumpy pumpy for a few £100000’s.
Meanwhile please text me on 07766496223 some lunchtime when you are between clients and I will relieve you of your old banger before you can say ‘in and out’..