Will the British police give me a car?

If Rebecca Brooks, corrupt ex newspaper editor can have a police horse, can I have a police car?
If you haven’t any cars, can I have a helicopter or a police launch?
If you don’t have any of these can you saddle up one of your dumb plods to carry me? Slow but better than nothing.
When you send him make sure he brings a bridle, spurs and whip.
Someone has to make the police realise they can’t take us for a ride.