Birmingham – The Sorry City

Whenever someone from Birmingham finishes a sentence the pitch of their voice increases, as though they were sorry for what they had said, the way they had said it, and in fact for occupying the space which by right of not being from Birmingham is rightfully yours.
Everyone from Birmingham lives with the guilt of their birth, spend their whole lives apologizing and when they die, the go straight to hell, because those awful accents would destroy all the harmony in heaven.