Category Archives: Uncategorized

I tell all my students, ‘During an exam, if you haven’t got a clue, multiply all the numbers together’. Now it occurs to me that that is what those clueless bankers were doing before the Western economy entered the death … Continue reading →

Celebrities and children have a sordid history together. From the notorious Hollywood parties which went on until the 1960’s at least, to the latest scandals at the BBC, celebrities are all in it together, leading everyone blindly up a path … Continue reading →

Please go on a sponsored walk around London with you head up your bum. You will be world famous and people will never forget you. For your efforts I will donate my old underpants to charity.

Apparently Smith is the most common surname for criminals and gypsies (I have great sympathy for gypsies and invite them to drink on my drive). I feel a liitle bit better now, knowing that my kin in prison are now … Continue reading →

Actually he was caught with a second class ticket in a first class carriage. Stupidly he tried to bluff and argue his way out, and refused to move to second class or pay up, eventually having to pay up. It … Continue reading →

For stopping the extradition of the notorius and heroic computer hacker Gary Mckinnon to the United States. Now I feel sure that no matter how many times I call the American people idiotic subnormal morons and insult their wishy washy … Continue reading →

CCTV cameras everywhere, and all they time the police watching them. I dreamt I was stopped by the police. They told me, ‘we have a video of you driving hands free. With one hand you were picking your nose, and … Continue reading →

They can’t even afford to put salt and pepper in it.

All my male friends like cats, women friends less so, and I have been thinking why. It is because as far as men are concerned, all cats are feminine – even the ugly rancid male ones.