Brace Yourself!

The British Government is showing us all how to deal with a large powerful neighbour with the power of poverty over us. In an attempt to force the EU to give us everything we they want, the Birtish government is threatening the EU with the introduction of alternative measures.
If the EU does not allow us to remain part of the Single Market and control immigration – ie foreigners out – they will implement ‘a change in economic and social policy’ – they will cut all our wages!
Right on! That will show those uppity Europeans! While we are dealing with the misery this means, we can send the Royal Navy to blockade the continent ala WW1, WW2 and Napoleonic wars.

Any gay person looking for a little sympathy and understanding in the bible should look again. Specifically, they should look at:
Luke 17:34 I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Luke 17:35 Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
My interpretation of these lines is that gay men and women will forced to play russian roulette with their partners.

Don’t even think about the future. With Donald Trimp in charge, it is terrifying. Even if it were not, and you knew what was coming, you would get bored pretty soon and see the future as interesting as daytime tv. With nothing left to look forrward to, what is left to live for?
BEER!

They dont always work out.
A girl was promised a horse for Xmas.
And on Xmas morning, she ended up having to be happy with a ride on a cow.

Optimists say, ‘If I …., then I can….’.
Pessimists say, ‘If I …., then I must ….’

Too many people in hospital are old and fat and senile and cancerous. They are eating too much crap frankly. Make them make their own, healthy meals. Make them eat those meals. When they go home maybe they will stop eating the crap they are used too and start eating healthily.

Anyone thinking of going anywhere by any mode of transport should apuse and think. Should disaster happen:
If you are on a boat which sinks you can get out and swim.
If you are n a car which crashes you can get out and walk.
If you are in a plane which falls out of the sky, you can’t get out and fly.

Why should MPs from all over the country be able to rent themselves a decent sized house in London at my expense? Their rent should be limited to housing benefit rates and they should be made to share the houses they rent. If they don’t share with each other, they will be forced to meet some of the people they are inflicting their austerity measures on.

Next time you have a house full of oeople for a wedding or a wake, don’t let them waste your time. Give them a brush each and tell them to pain the house.

So the Americans voted Trump, who denies climate change and would rather shoot all foreigners than allow the to share his bread and water.
So disappointed they cannot see the plight of the planet and the rest of the human race behind their next unpaid bill.