Brace Yourself!

You will only buy more STUFF!

Fills you full of guilt with everything that is wrong with the world and makes you determined to put it right.

Coming to terms with your past you can’t see through a rosy lens.

Every day I try to be a netter person.
And a better friend to all the people I know.

A fly just died in my whisky.

The bills I get and do not wish to pay.
I fill them with bits of useless maths and write my reply on them before I send them back.

Not quite, but consider the coincidences:

OLICE are appealing for witnesses to a collision after a cyclist died from head injuries.

Paul Smith, 33, of St Paul’s Cray, was found by police lying in Crofton Road, Orpington, at around 11.30pm on March 13.

Police received calls from members of the public at about the same time patrolling officers coincidentally discovered Mr Smith near the junction with Poplar Avenue.

He was taken to Bromley Hospital by ambulance but was pronounced dead on arrival.

Part of Crofton Road was cordoned off until the next morning.

A post mortem carried out at Beckenham Mortuary on March 14 found the cause of death to be severe head

Same name, same age, same part of London. I ride on that road every week.

Life is a compromise.

$450 million dollars to have the one and only Da Vinci ‘Jesus saves the World’ (my translation’.
There is actually only one of everything. Everything is the only and only/ My 10 year old phone is the only phone of it’s type owned by me.
I am the one and only me. How much am I worth? Bids invited. (You can only take possession of your purchase when I am dead and finished with it).

God only knows how much all the foreign currency I have from various countries is worth.
Why doesn’t someone set up a facebook page or website to funnel foreign currency to any traveller going to that country? They could give the money to any deserving looking character they meet. Give a shoe shine boy a BIG tip.