Police Made Me Tie Up My Car With String Before They Would Let Me Drive It

My car is pretty basic I know. It has five wheels, one of which you use for steering, an engine, some seats and other bits. Unfortunately some bits are falling off or don’t fit together, or frankly, work.
The bumper fell off a week ago (being a safety conscious motorist, I put it back on), the radiator or water pump is busted and needs to be refilled every few hours, the bonnet doesn’t close and the boot doesn’t open, a couple of light covers are shattered and the exhaust drags along the floor.
When I was stopped by the police yesterday most of this went unnoticed. They were only interested in tyres, bonnet and light cover. They made me tie the bonnet down with shoelaces (looks really impressive), gave me a list of things to do and let me go.

This car is not as bad as many of my previous cars. My fondest memory is of an old Ford Fiesta. Every time I did a left turn the battery would fall into the engine.

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