Brace Yourself!

Everyone with a spare room should be allowed to take in a refugee from Syria or some other war torn country.
There should be a list where people can put their details and the government should not stop us giving our rooms to people who need them.

There is a badger cull going on in England at the moment, but apparently not enough badgers have died so the company carrying out the cull have  explained themselves by saying something to the effect of ‘the bashers did not do what we expected’.
Am I having to pay for this?

You don’t know the people you never met.

When upgrading a website, with lots of mods and server requirements, you don’t know if it will work until you’ve done it.

My parents were neanderthal northern type who kept coal in the bath.

They had no ambition of any type whatsoever.

Their only interests – and that of everyone else in my family actually – were cars, beer, football and horses.

Society has dispensed with them.

I didn’t know you could plug electronic cigarettes into a usb to charge them.

See this one.

A month ago I drove through a no entry sign, 400 m in a bus lane.
The time has passed now when they can send me a ticket. Here are some photos.

It was a pretty pathetic attempt.

This young man was drugged up to his eyeballs and when I told him to go away, he was too high to even aim a punch properly.

He was riding a bike too small for him, with no brakes. I rode it to a superstore close by, and in following me he left his bag behind – he may have forgotten that he even had one, because when I went back half an hour later the bag was still there.

The result of his attempt was to lose his bike and his bag.

Despite this I feel bad. I imagine he was homeless. Now he has even less to call his own.

Another of my brilliant ideas.
With all the devices being wired up, when one gets stolen, you should be able to ping it to find its ip address.
I am sure this could be hardwired and hidden in ever so many place in a device. Electronics theft might be doomed like car crime.

Question: at 50mph it takes 80m to brake. How far will it take to brake if travelling at 200mph?

Answer: don’t brake. Keep going and try to get away with it.