Brace Yourself!

300 feet to the ground/Thames, with the wind blowing. Thrilling!

The O2 Arena

The car behind us.

The Thames.

The 2000th American soldier to die in Iraq. I hope the west will think a bit more about the next pointless war they want to fight, but if they decide to go ahead they should beead up front by the people who sent them.

You may know Jimmy Wales, co – founder of wikipedia, as an Angel of Knowledge. In fact he is a born liar, who edited out others involved in the co – founding to steal all the credit for himself.
Almost worse, he has been involved with internet pornography and once worked as a banker.
If anyone has pictures of him smoking or sitting down in a pub in front of a table covered in empty spirit bottles, send them to me.

Driving into a supermarket carpark I saw on an electronic sign, ‘welcome T105 WNO’ – my car plate number displayed in front of me. Bit of a nightmare. Even though I appear on surveillance cameras a couple of hundred times a day they don’t push it in my face by displaying a message to the effect that they know my name, address and the colour of my underwear.

Starts with tables.
Cut all the trees down and make them all into tables.
Then plant more trees, cut them all down and make them into chairs.
Plant more trees, cut them all down and make them into log cabins.
Then plant more trees and let them live so that dogs have something to wee against.
All the tables, chairs, log cabins and trees that we have spared will lock up all the carbon and put an end to global warming.

Everything on the Earth is made from other bits of the Earth. Basically nothing enters or leaves the Earth, so all we are doing by making so much STUFF is moving little bits of the Earth around.
My problem is this: How is it that some harmless little bit of the Earth, over here, after some pfaffing around with it to make something useful, becomes some toxic and polluting bit of the Earth over there?

I want everyone out there to ask everyone about this. The point is not of course, to solve the paradox, but to get me on TV where I can tell the American people ‘You are all a bunch of pufters’, a la Johnny Rotten.

PS It is only the first pollution paradox because I have an inventive mind.

Those eggcups people use are just not big enough.

Andrew Mitchell the cabinet minister who was stopped riding his bike out of Downing Street last week by a policewoman is a hero for anyone, like me, who has been stopped by the police for no good reason at all. He was told to ‘go through that gate not this one’ by someone who spends all day waiting around doing nothing at all really while being paid much more than they deserve.
If he swore, frankly that is no more than that jobsworth deserved. The police are no there to make sure that everything has it rightful place and that every rat escapes down the right drain.

So now we know the total contempt US presidential candidate Mitt Romney has for anyone who is worth less than a zillion dollars. The quickest way for Mitt to get America out of the great depression is to bet all his money on himself. He will lose of course but everyone he bets with can buy a new one of everything.

Philosophers used to think up new ways to descibe the world on the grounds that ‘they must have their own system or be enslaved by another man’s’. This seems to be how British politicians think too. Every government that takes office takes the health system and school system apart and puts it all back together. Now the British government is to end GCSE exams and make everyone sit ‘EBAC’ instead.
Seems pretty meaningless to me. Why don’t they save themselves lots of money and paper? They can have any type of exam they want at 16 but it makes no sense to give them a new name. After all course specifications are rewritten all the time. A qualification is not fixed – GCSE’s have always been a moving target.