Brace Yourself!

Fleet tutors is now advertising pornography.
This is a post on their forum
The text is:

Voickiree

1 Posts

Posted – 03/11/2010 : 22:21:28 Show Profile Email Poster Reply with Quote
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Escorpio

Would you hire a tutor from these people?

Ring alphamaths.com

You must
Say George Bush is a dick who lost his brain in space.
Eat your own brain and post the video on youtube.
Sell everything and give the money to the moonies (except for my fee).
Walk around the world on your hands juggling rugby balls with your feet.
If you still want to bother me after all that the answer is NO!

They might as well have done. Apparently they have copied almost entire marking schemes from wikipedia. If they want maths marking schemes done, I will do them for nothing, as long as they send me the exam papers WELL in advance.
No doubt my IB students will be delighted to read I have made this offer.
I am waiting for a reply from the IB to this email:
Can I write the marking schemes for your maths exam papers?
I will not give the answers away to anyone I promise, unlike wikipedia who put everything on the internet.

Another opportunity for bankers to prove how unfull of crap they all are. I will give a prized of £100000000000000000000000000000000 to the first banker to find a number bigger than 10 but less than 1. Email your answers to [email protected]

We in this country are just not grateful enough to all the bankers who stole, lost or burnt all our money. The press and TV give the impression they are all a bunch of crooks and spivs who can’t add up or take away any numbers bigger than 10. To show the British people that bankers are not all a bunch of thieves and morons I am announcing here a prize of £1000000000000000000000000000000000 to be awarded to the first banker who finds an even prime number bigger than 2. Email your answers to
[email protected]

The conversation will go something like this…

I’d like a maths tutor

Where do you live?
Chelsea

Name?
My son’s name is John Terry, just like his dad. How much do you charge?

What level of maths…
Very very very basic – Methinks, well, he is the product of two thick planks rubbing together.

Price is £2000 per hour, plus a call out fee of £500.

Even a footballer’s wife would be put off by that.

Then I will post on my blog – this dick footballer without a brain couldn’t afford me.

No doubt about it. When I was at school 30 years ago, half of what is now in AS maths and AS physics was part of O Level maths and physics. I was on holiday  recently and bought a second hand O level textbook. It contained over 500 pages of densely written physics more suitable for A level than GCSE.

Exams are no doubt more suited now, but to say they are the same difficulty as 25 years ago, only different is frankly, lies.

I was once contacted by an a man who said he had a student for me. I met him at a central London hotel and he gave me the details of the student. We had a few sessions, and when it came for me to be paid the guy I met in the hotel gave me only a quarter of the fee I was expecting.
It also turned out that I was not the first tutor who had been to see that student. The previous tutor, sent by the same man, was only a first year degree student, and expected to teach 2nd year degree maths.
The name of this agency? Imperial tutors, who claim that over half their tutors have doctorates from Oxford and Cambridge. Needless to say, it is all a pack of lies.
This was 3 years ago now. I don’t take students from anyone else.

Start of term again. During the past year I have written maybe 1000 pages of maths and physics notes. I reckon it might take 10 years to do a full set of notes for every syllabus I have a mind to.