Poverty is Good For You!

Think of all the things poverty will mean you get more of:
porridge
potatoes
worms (good source of animal protein)
rats (keep them as pets -you’d have to buy pet food for a cat. When you get hungry, hold your nose and eat them)
exercise (and you can get £50 or so for your car from the scrapyard to spend on cigarettes, battery acid and luscious linda who advertises in the phonebox)
On the other hand, you will get less of these things which are bad for you:
television – because you won’t be able to pay the tv licence or gas bill
gas – gas is definitely bad for you. If you don’t believe me, stick your head in an oven. Of course, once your gas is cut off and your cupboards are bare, you might stick your head in the oven anyway lick lick the dried, baked, rancid 3 year old chicken fat off the sides.