Brace Yourself!

To receive the undivided attention of the taxman.
They will ring me in early April. No doubt the notice is to keep me scared.

Why does the day on which self employed people in the UK must pay their taxes fall just after Xmas when all their money has been spent and they have spent two week earning nothing?
They must be extremely tempted to say, ‘no taxes to pay this year’, and leave the government short of funds.
Better surely, to have that day in June, before the summer holidays, when they are more likely to have money in the bank. This will mean I think a much bigger tax take for the government at a time when the budget deficit is close to record levels.

I was approaching a garage with two cars waiting to exit. I flashed them to go. I think the car behind was watching me and decided to go but the car in front decided not.
Just a small bump but enough to mean two new bumpers.

Dell have joined HTC (phone broken four times in two years) and apple (money grabbing yank hippies), three mobile (plain awful and always trying to avoid their responsibility) as companies to avoid.
The server I bought from them has a basic design flaw in having the power supply at the bottom of the case, resulting in increased sucking in of dust and accelerated drying out of capacitors.
They must have noticed this and not rectified it.

And exit having taught them some maths/physics and fixed all their pens. I look upon my pen fixing sideline as a free giveaway, not offered by any other tutor.

As if the people of Denmark weren’t stupid enough, they believed a totally fictitious report on danish tv about the war in Syria, complete with footage from a video game said to be of the war in Syria.
If they are packing lies into tv news expecting the danish people to believe them, here are a few suggestions:
Dutch granny invades Germany and accepts surrender!
Dutch space agency puts first man on mars!
Denmark to grant asylum to alien invaders exiled from Roswell!

I am sick and tired of nor being able to make a call because someone else is using the line. There must be a cheap way for simultaneous calls without a second line being installed.

In Kenya poor people have just elected a war criminal as president.
In the UK poor people are borrowing money they can’t afford to pay back from loan sharks having babies they can’t afford and living whole lives on the dole.
In Africa many of them would rather rob a tourist than shine their shoes for 30p.
Do these people deserve sympathy?
THEY DO NOT!

To kill other people.
How do you stop this?
Stop giving them guns.

So when like a man who killed his wife, two relatives then himself, they are given guns and kill people, I listen to the post mortem on the radio,
and I hear people say any of these things:
It couldn’t happen now
Things have changed
We have reviewed our procedures

I think’ Rubbish you idiot. It’s just basic common sense, so stop being stupid and stop giving crazy people guns2.

Once upon a time, I wrote in text so small you could hardly see it.

Then one day I saw Princess Diana’s handwriting and in a flash I started writing like Princess Diana.