Brace Yourself!

You may pay me after each session.
This avoids the possibility that you should lose out if I die at your house. I am sure you would all be too embarrassed to reclaim your money from my pockets if I die before an hour of tuition is done.

Knocked down in the street By a car.  Nobody in the car knew the basics of first aid. While they were jumping up and down killing her with ignorance, I wondered why they weren’t running for some liquid aid. In her position, with people rushing around eager to hear my last request, I would want gin, cigarettes and dancing girls.
Hope someone can use her clothes. She was pretty big.

Greece is to default. Italy, European and now British banks have had the credit ratings downgraded. Even the US is in two minds about whether to pay it’s debts.

I’m sick of it all. Let’s all go to out banks, take the money out and burn it, starting with Lloyds and RBS, downgraded this morning. See if they can’t be pushed under.

The system is not worth saving.

When I requested a listing they replied

Dear Paul,

Thank you for your email. We regret that we will not be able to add your details to the Council’s A- Z listing of Home Tutors as we do not include private individual tutors on this database.

Regards,

Kensington Reference Library

I feel forced to point out I am not operating alone, and replied,

I am not an individual private tutor. There is me, my wife, my wife’s cat and his fleas. Please include us all.

I await their further reply.

Having lied through her teeth at every stage of the investigation into the death of Meredith Kircher, Amanda Knox is about to walk into fame and fortune in the United States. Book and TV deals will make her millions. If she had meant to make millions from a murder, she could not have planned it better.
She may have been found not guilty, but she still deserves life in jail.

Steve McClaren resigned today as Nottinghma Forest manager after they lost again and now risk relegation, the 3rd or 4th or 5th resignation in similar circumstances after a similarly disastrous spell as England manager.

I have a new idea for him. Whyever does he want to manage a winning team? He could happily lead the Labour party to disaster hardly less incompetently than the current leader, or apply to lead Greece into bankruptcy, pocketing his usual multi million pound salary and signing ‘disastermaster’ book deals.

Ali Dezai, top policeman and victim of a persecution campaign of the metropolitan police in London, sacked, libelled, jailed and crucified, has survived the attentions of his colleagues and is to be reinstated As a policeman. What shouts of joy there will from his colleagues now that the man they had sent to jail is to walk amongst them again, pissing in their tea and crapping in their curry.

If for instance, a journalist says, ‘everyone in the labour party is a bunch of pufters’, they will be banned from being a journalist.
*****Imagination runs riot*****Any blog that says ed miliband is a castrato will be taken off the internet.
Any citizen that says ‘vote conservative’ will be hunted down like the fascist they are, marched to ‘corrective’ polling booths and made to vote labour in anticipation of the next election.

In an attempt to replace the Tories as the stupid party, the labour party is to
1. Close half of British universities and force student doctors etc back into the fields where they will be made to grow rice.
2. Give all our money to the Greeks so they can afford to holiday in Britain and save the British economy.
3. Force all UK dentists to spend a day polishing ed miliband’s new teeth.

Guess which of above is about to become labour party policy.

Am getting an average of 1000 hits a day now. I will be getting 6000 hits a day in June. With the upgrades I have planned, is it conceivable that this will be the top tutoring website in the world?