Brace Yourself!

A fusion of space tourism and cremation is coming.
A while ago, someone jumped from the edge of space and skydived/parachuted to Earth. Some day soon, someone with a fatal disease will smoke their last cigarette, eat their last triple burger, drink their last bottle of gin and leap into a quickly decaying orbit around the Earth.
When they hit the Earth’s atmosphere at 30km/s they will burn up like a meteorite, creating a ‘shooting corpse’ (to coin a phrase). Their relatives on the ground might take videos and post them on youtube or some funeral website.
Don’t think I’ll be the first. I have too damn long to live.

So they held a cage fighting competition for 8 year olds at a venue in Preston, UK.
No doubt they are preparing for class war and revolution by teaching working class children to kill each other, before moving onto upper class puffs who they will hope to catch unawares waiting for the butler to bring the brandy.

Ever wondered what bankers think about?
They think about their bonuses the most.
Their collective train of thought goes something like this:
£1m to share between ten of us… that’s £10m each…(see how they can perform long division perfectly suited to the bills they have to pay).
Let’s have a party…
And put it on expenses…

Get on with it then and die.

So when they beat prisoners to death for fun, they don’t know that is wrong.
These are some things they should know.

It is wrong to
Beat people to death for fun.
Bugger them with broom handles.
Hang them up by their testicles or breasts.

I hear the average IQ of a british soldier is 70. I hope you can read this if you are a soldier.

By becoming godfather to Rupert Murdoch’s children, he has moved a little bit closer to becoming the supreme being. When that baby looks up at the world statesman and international jetsetting author and peacebringer (as if), you can bet he is thinking how much like a god the great man is.
So here is a strategy for the ex PM to become an actual god, while not inflicting himself on anyone anymore. He can become godfather to every baby in the world. By attending every christening at which this happens, he will become to busy to do anything else.
Eventually he will be godfather to every living human, becoming for want of any other one word description that he would make up himself, a god.

David Cameron has exposed himself (no pun intended) as just a little bit too kinky.
Tough love as he seems to think teenagers deserve means walking the streets with a bullwhip, dressed in leather, bellowing ‘Kneel before your leader, citizens’, before they are tied up, put in the stocks and whipped for the crimes they might possibly commit.

When a man decided to commit suicide by stabbing himself in the stomach, British police decided to take no chance with their reputation for inflicting a state of death on anyone they don’t like. They tasered, pepper sprayed and beat him up until there was no doubt he was dead and their reputation was intact and honour preserved.

I have heard of three deaths at the hands of the British police in the past few days. See how active they are at honour preservation.

When I go into my local bank I always go straight to the front of the queue because I am a business customer. The people in the queue seem to have no dignity whatsoever, because they are made to wait while I go to the ‘first class’ counter.
But I don’t feel any dignity at being able to walk past all these people to the front of the queue.
I can feel them putting me in the same dock as some dictator just arrested and made to lie in a cage on a bed.
Despite my sympathy for those people made to stand in a queue, every time my bank forces me to wait, I let them have it.
I had a extremely enjoyable five minute argument with barclay’s staff once after they failed to open the counter on time. The last word was ‘Next time, don’t keep me waiting’.
Another time, I told one of their counter staff to take their good service sign down because it was all a pack of lies.

I felt dignity walk out with me then.

Food prices are going to rise and people are going to die. Death is not the worst thing because all of us will die. The worst thing is that when you look at the way things went, it was your leaders that made them go wrong, and because of this you must die in a state of bitterness, surrounded by death and desert and defeat.
The alternative to to march on them their palace on bring them to account.