Brace Yourself!

The tory party and the British police are squaring up for a fight it seems, with each accusing the other of being a bunch of thieving, lying spivs out to stitch each other and the British people up for as much money as possible.
This thing could take years if it ends up in the courts, so I have been thinking up possible ways to shorten the agony. My favourite idea is to line them up against each other on opposite sides of the M1 motorway, armed with trucncheons and teargas (police) against bike parts (frames, wheels, handlebars and spray oil – I am thinking of Andrew Mitchell here), while the British people, with nothing to do given the state of the economy, sit on the grass sides of the motorway and anticipate the mutual slaughter.

The British Government is to monitor unemployed people in the UK to make sure they do exactly what they are told to do on the internet ie look for work and lots of it. If they don’t look for enough work on the internet they will be emailed, phoned, have government looking for work inspectors come round to their house, and be issed wioth vouchers instead of money so they don’t spend any of the Government’s money on beer, cigarettes or satellite tv subscriptions.
Unfortunately none of these measures are to be applied to the biggest claiments of welfare payments in the UK – the British royal family, none of whom ever had to look for any sort of job whatsoever. If a prince or duke ever wanted for a job, they only had to mention it to the British Prime Minister who would send them to do something not very useful like sell arms to the third world.

Seems to have a very intimate relation with the police. Today four police people turned up because someone parked their car across his driveway.
Even more ridiculously, someone put the wrong sort of rubbish in the bin. That merited a visit by two police and some poor girl being given a severe talking to.
God only knows what treatment I will receive if my neighbour reads this post.
Will I be charged with harassment for having an opinion?
Slander for thinking he is a complete moron?
Maybe he can have me charged with trespass if this appears on his computer screen.

Here’s one I solved.
In moodle users were unable to login and when trying to reset there password they were emailed this message
Unfortunately your account on this site is disabled and can not be reset,please contact the site administrator
To solve it go to the admin panel>site administration>plugins>authentication>manage authentication
Some of the options here are blanked out. I had to enable Email-based self-registration on this page then all was ok

Just like those crazy yanks. Apparently it is written into the bill of rights passed in the 1680’s.
I am shocked at this. If this becomes widely known we will all go around shooting each other just like in the the USA.

If anyone anywhere wants disaster on tap, call me. I will come to your house, drink all your beer, smoke all your cigarettes and be over friendly with your sheep. Then I will turn your gas on and make some last toast.

That’s me. Please don’t call me if you want any of your epcperiments to work cos with me around gravity will accelerate your projectiles towards Jupiter and light will vanish where the sun don’t shine.

There is a modern trend, when creative people are all burnt out, that they accept TV or film roles. In the UK David Essex and Gary Kemp, both ex pop stars have appeared in soap operas. Then there was Barbara Windsor, ex of the carry on films, and many ex MP’s and sports people on reality TV.

Never girl walked in greater glory.
It is not enough to be good looking to be beautiful. You must also push a point of view in spite of everyone else.
Marlene Dietrich became beautiful when she turned her back on hollywood – though she later appeared in an Orson Welles film.
Elvis Presley became beautiful when he became wistful, facing decline and death, and Orson Welles, when he realised he would never make a film again, started giving relective interviews.
IN the US last week, when a gunman walked into a classroom, some of the teachers realised death was close and turned to face it. That wasn’t beautiful, cos they didn’t have one last cigarette handy.

That is the attitude of the gun lobby in America. They are determined to be able to freely buy whatever deadly weapons they want, and if people want to go out and kill 20 or 30 other people at a time, that is the price of liberty.
WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!|