I believe I am the only private tutor to offer a 100%, cast iron, money back guarantee. IF YOU DON’T TURN UP FOR YOUR EXAM YOU WILL GET 0%!
To claim take advantage of this money back guarantee, all you have to do is show that you did not turn up for your exam and failed to get 0%. In this sad event I will refund all your tuition costs and even refund your exam fee!
Whatever it is. We are buggered cos we say Yes too much. When people want something, we answer Yes too often. If we said no, they might find some way to EARN it By their own labour. Goes most of all to people on welfare.
In an attempt to avoid national disgrace and humiliation, France is pointing all over the world at anyone who owes anything to anyone else, and telling the credit reference agencies about to reduce France to the status of a Greece, ‘look at them who can’t afford to heat their home this xmas’ or ‘see, they had to pawn their Sunday clothes’ – aren’t we more deserving than them? In this way they hope to blind us all to the brute fact that they are pathetic and bankrupt and have nothing to sell to anyone but mouldy cheese and expensive rancid wine.
Of course the gnomes of London are to blame. British bankers are taking their money out of French banks and selling all their French government bonds. Why don’t they convict all British bankers in absentia of economic crimes and apply to have them extradited under European law?
Massive advantage in the UK of this. Those bloody bankers who almost bankrupted Britain would be assisting France into bankruptcy by taking their 2 hour lunches and expensive bubbly courtesy of the French prison system.
I have been saying this to my students for years. Now it is confirmed in public by a Edexcel official, in the latest scandal to hit this bunch of idiots – this is a quote from the Daily Telegraph:
Exam chief, Steph Warren, a chief examiner at Edexcel, one of Britain’s biggest exam boards, has been recorded boasting about the easiness of the company’s tests.: ‘you don’t have to teach a lot’ for our tests’.
I have sent them this email
Can you also please confirm that your exams are the easiest in the world and if I take them I cannot possibly fail, even if I have no brain, and no feet, ears, eyes or even a head?
All the British exam boards- aqa, edexcel, wjec, ocr, cie (am not sure about ocr and cie, but would be happy for them to sue me for libel – they are a bunch of morons anyway), it seems, have been allowing teachers to essentially see exam papers in advance for £200 a day. They have been told the questions and exact wording that should be used to get the most marks.
Hell, why don’t they just sell the papers to anyone who can afford an outrageous fee to be met in some anonymous field at midnight by someone with a paper programmed to self destruct after the twenty minutes it takes to read it?
I am sending an email to edexcel.
Please can I have all your exam papers for June 2012? I promise not to give them away or sell them, unlike some of your staff.
I await their reply.
And here one is.
Thank you for contacting the Edexcel Ask the Expert service. One of our administrative or teaching experts will answer your query shortly.
Your reference number can be found in the email subject field.
Please reply to this email if you have any further information regarding your query.
I did reply. I said,
Can you include all the Jan 2012 papers too?
We seem to be having a regular exchange here. Their reply, and my reply to their reply:
Contact History
Response (Warrick Harniess) 08/12/2011 11.04 AM
Thank you for your enquiry. It is not possible to assist you as requested.
Mr L O’Callaghan (Temporary)
Student Services
My reply: Please please send me all the papers. I will send you some apples for xmas.
Is cirtex.
I have been experimenting on and off with video websites like youtube for a while, to host purely educational videos.
There have been technical problems and I wanted to be sure of the script before I upgraded the server package, so I hosted theeducationchannel.info with http://www.cirtexhosting.com.
They might be cheap, dirt cheap in fact. On the other hand, their service is dirt.
They almost never answer phone calls, even to their sales department. God only knows how they make any.
The support link in cpanel always returns an error message when I submit a support request, and their live help is usually unstaffed.
Worst of all though, when I get a response from support and the send an email to which I reply, after a few hours I get an automated mail to the effect of:
This message is regarding your Ticket ID #UMX-696001. We are changing the status of this ticket to ‘Closed’ as we have not received a response from you in 12 hours.
No doubt some webmasters get some value from them. As far as I am concerned however, they are worse than useless.
Last week, driving home after tutoring maths at 1.30 in the morning – really – I was hit in the back by another car.
I almost jumped for joy. I was about to get out and be shocked, saying to the other driver, ‘You’ve scratched it. Are you going to buy me a new one?’, but he did’t stop.
He was away already. I caught him, got his number, now the police say he has insurance. Probably means a new car for me, cos insurance companies routinely write cars off in these circumstances.
Nice Xmas present for me, that the moron who hit me and didn’t stop will end up buying me a new car.
Her name is Miriam Linehan and she works in North West London. She phoned me asking about my website, but I am looking for a partner and she is not interested in working with anyone else. Nevertheless, she is frank and honest, has an MSc from Imperial and has registered her own website for a level maths tuition.
She sounds so much like Kate Bush too. She doesn’t do home visits, but works from her house. I can imagine her meeting her students at the door, all KATEY and BUSHY, putting them to sleep with motherease while her cat spits fear at them and miaows for more cream.
Bugger that!
Rascist football players should be part of a breeding experiment conducted in public view to see the grotesque offspring of men with balls but no brains.
Here are two likely candidates.
Unfortunately I wasn’t there to witness conception.
We are all too rich and have TOO MUCH STUFF!
The only way to persuade people to stop having so much, and to repair and make do is to put the price of everything up.
See how Apple are thinking ahead again. The price of their stuff is twice as much at least as everyone elses.
